So, what exactly is a Maven?

Now, settle down and don't get your knickers in a twist over my initial definition - I only gave myself one line. When I say Maven, I mean woman of her own means, substance and amusement. This is not your cougar-type-out-on-the-town. No indeedy. This lady is married and generally appears cool, calm and sophisticated. And, is. However, given the opportunity in the bedroom -and here's the important part: with her husband - can be given to episodes of wild, uninhibited behaviour, rivaling (and indeed medalling over) any single counterpart.
So, is Maven in your repetoire? I thought so.

But wait, you're saying... (And, I know): Where are the kids during this bout of unparalleled enthusiasm? When does this happen? How? Of course I want to - Can I? Help! Now, as long as everyone understands I do not wear a long cape and carry an umbrella singing "A spoon full of sugar..." (well, not the actual umbrella singing), neither do I own a magic wand or any form of time manipulation machinery, we can continue. Honestly, I don't know! Just knowing you are a Maven at heart can sometimes be enough to propel you to creative solutions of your own. (I am fully aware that the walk-in closet is not the most romantic of venues, but hey, if the door locks...) I could be persuaded to impart with some more suggestions, if there appears to be a need... But, in the meantime, Mavens go forth and, oh dear Lord no; no more multiplying! Go forth and Mumbo, horizontally that is.

Are you a mum, a maven, a mug or perhaps a combination of all three? I am most definitely all three - varying in proportions of each, depending on the time. In order to determine your identity, let's examine the definitions of each:

Mum - mother, female parental unit, procreater, adopter, fosterer (my definition: nutter)
Maven - an expert or connoisseur, experienced (my definition: sophisticated, amusing ho-bag)
Mug - naive nitwit, believer of falsities (my definition: sweet and trusting)

So, which one(s) are you? Yeah, I thought so. And, don't go on your personal tirade about being a hard-arse and not trusting anyone or believing anything until you've seen it. I know you. You *want* to believe, you *want* to trust - you *NEED* me on that wall! I am your Mug Poster Child.

Moving on: Mums.
Really, what *were* we thinking? Love them? Of course! Love our families? Definitely. All the time? Really? Errr... NO! Oh dear, I sound so dreadfully dark. Not so. I am just a fan of what has apparently become an infinitely unachievable reality - that of "Me-time". Just me, that is. Not me and "Mum, can I have some crackers?" Not me and "Mum, can I get in the bath, too?" Not me and "Mum, why is the door shut?" (you know where I'm talking about.) Enough for today, I wish you Me-time, or would it be Your-time?